June 2010
25 posts
(Kate Bush being Kate Bush)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: read this blog.
This morning we were shocked to discover that we have an actual job. We were sitting at our desk, trying to think up a blog post, when a man appeared at our cubicle, holding a massive document. We looked at him, flabbergasted. He might as well have been Magellan, in a flouncy velvet hat and pantaloons. Did Magellan wear pantaloons? Probably not. Anyway, he handed the document to us. Not knowing what to do with it, we deposited it in the trash. He said “What are you doing?” Perpelexed, we pulled the document back out of the trash and handed it back to him. He refused to take it. Instead he said, “It’s yours. To work on.”
We cried, “Work on??? Who are you? Why are you persecuting us?”
He said, “I’m your boss.”
What a shock! You could have knocked us over with a hummingbird feather. Why didn’t someone tell us we have a boss? We come to work, we don’t work, that has long been our understanding of the conditions of our employment, we show up at work and we don’t work, it’s a hard job but someone has to fail to do it. Nobody mentioned working at work, what an idea, are we in Nazi Germany?
Yes, obviously we are.
“Heil Hitler!” we shouted as he walked away.
We still have the document in our hands. What in God’s name, this is what we’d like to know, are we supposed to do with it? Fortunately our desk has many drawers, all of them crammed to the brim with documents that the strange man who says he’s our boss has handed us over the years. We will have to throw one away, and replace it with this new one.
We look at the old one, and think fondly back upon the day we hid it away in a drawer for lack of a better idea of what to do with it, then toss it in the trash.
God, what a sense of accomplishment!