I definitely have a live feed of Adam dressing at...
Thank you, iChat gods.
thedailywhat: Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. Two to fill the bathtub with clocks, and one to set the giraffe on fire.
Dog eats a heart transplant on One Tree Hill →
This is a 30 second break from life and sense that you won’t regret taking.
'Navigator' takes flight again →
From the visionary writer of “Wild Hogs” comes the worst idea ever.
My greatest weakness? It’s possible that I am a little too awesome.– Barack Obama Is this real life? (via yourlittleshark)
B and I basically speak only in pop culture...
B: Now he is laughing very hard.
me: good god, man
B: he is out of his vulcan mind.
B: we have to walkins the babies and then try to set up a boombox
me: everybody will be fucking like rabbits
B: It will be disgusting, to say the least.
me: a boombox is not toy
how to have sex with a friend who has a boyfriend
Just so you know, this would totally work on me. So, you’re in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and probably wouldn’t have sex with you anyway. What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sunbed, the ability to grow a beard. Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month. Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sunbed to...
This brought much enjoyment to us on our travels...
So I didn't have cable/internet for 5 days...
because the construction crew didn’t feel like unhooking our cable wires while stuccoing the building facade and then rehooking them, so they just cut them. But I’m back, bitches… and I have absolutely nothing of worth to contribute.
Last night I unlocked a new achievement:
I ralphed at Benny’s Burritos.